The Final Post

We made it all the way to DUBUQUE! (which I can finally pronounce correctly, instead of Duh-BOO-cue). On our way to Dubuque we stopped at the famous “Field of Dreams” movie site in Dyersville. We spent an hour driving three miles on the RAGBRAI route through a mass of bikers--many of whom seemed to be altogether finished with RAGBRAI--and decided that we could piss people off less by blasting Journey songs out of the car’s open windows. So, with Kristen as DJ, we finally made it to the Field of Dreams (but only after an enthusiastic biker drafted off the back of our car). Next, we spent a good two hours in Dubuque, “driving” in bumper-to-bumper traffic. While not quite as terrifying as Waterloo intersections, Dubuque highways are definitely more boring (particularly after we’d gone through half of Kristen’s playlist, my leg started to cramp up from pressing on the brake, and our entire breakfast consisted of handfuls of Mike n’ Ikes.). Sadly, our car was going so slow Kristen’s mother and Fish nearly beat us to Dubuque on their bicycles. After making it to the Mississippi, we said goodbye to Casey’s General Store, Blue Bunny Ice Cream, grain elevators, consignment stores, fabric shops, corn, and towns that looked like they inspired the “Oregon Trail” computer game (and everything else that I associate with quintessential Iowa) and made our way to Chicago.

You talk in your sleep, too, Fish.

Waterloo, we'd heard, was one of the larger cities along the route, and Mel promptly called to warn us to stay away from the "bad part of town." Waterloo is the equivilent of Pennsylvania's Harrisburg, and after sitting outside a sketchy apartment building (Kristen speaking: More aplty, the crap-partment). We sat in the parking lot for ten minutes, arguing about what creepy personalities our host family would possess, Kristen and I made our way to downtown Cedar Falls in search of a coffee shop, which we later found had moved (YAY for GPS, the same thing that led us to the ghetto of Waterloo, the very place Dr. Mel had warned us about). (Kristen speaking: Here's a shout-out to the lovely couple we met at lunch in Charles City yesterday. Thanks for letting us share your table, and Monika most certainly thanks you for that piece of pizza. You were right--Cedar Falls is better than Waterloo!) Yes, Kristen, it's amazing how free everything is in Iowa: free pizza, free grotto tours, free Devonian era fossils...

Anyhow, we fed our Blue Bunny ice cream obsession (literally) and then headed to a nearby art gallery (which eventually led to more post cards. Katie, Holly, I hope you like N.C. Wyeth Indian fight paintings). Hesitant to return to the crap-partment, we went downtown in search of more art galleries.

Downtown Cedar Falls had a multitude of shops that we perused, desperate to pass as much time as we could. At one high-end jewelry store, a snobby saleslady criticized Kristen's woven Costa Rica bracelets, meanwhile trying to sell her troll beads. As if she would ever be interested in Norweigen-made Troll Beads. (Kristen speaking: They were nice, but wow--so expensive).

We returned to the crap-partment, unwillingly, and realized that our GPS had, once again, led us astray. Discovering that our host family was actually a nice couple with an affinity for cats, we settled in at the end of Day 5(?).

(Kristen speaking: A shout-out to Sandra Fish: "Don't forget to mention that my butt hurts." Monika may mumble in her sleep, but you sing. And it's certainly not anything resembling "I Want To Be Sedated." I'd say you're subconcious is more in-tune with a creepy nursery rhyme. I'd love to psychoanalyze that, but it's late, and you're snoring...)

(I did just accidently delete the post to look up the correct spelling of the word "pedophile"--just a note, we are in AMERICA. We do not use the "ae").

So, after a delicious breakfast pizza, we were back on the road, heading off on another one of Mel's brilliant field trips (see our journey to the grotto). In the aptly named Rockford, IA, there is a very free fossil gorge. If ever there is a time to be afraid of Iowa's laws, this was one of them. There were no liability waivers to be signed before we found ourselves standing above a 20 ft. gorge without so much as a stairwell (Monika speaking: Rockwell uses God's natural stairwell: Cliffs). We found many little shells and coral pieces, and I would have been perfectly happy to stay above the gorge, but Monika couldn't accept that. She lept into the gorge without abandon (She needed a nap before she would be able to think logically), but I was afraid. It looked like the Badlands of South Dakota, and those were steep cliffs. But, after some little boy jumped down with her, I preserved my dignity and jumped down, too.

We never found any Devonian era fish (though we did consider buying one at the Prairie Information Center, had it actually had a gift shop. I mean, seriously, this is consumer America--this was a prime opportunity for the Fossil Gorge to capitalize on the laziness of the American people, and they neglected it. Fat old George can't be bothered to go down into the gorge, so he just bought a few fossilized fish and shells at the giftshop...) After ending up locked out on the information center's deck, we panicked that we would never see Waterloo. However, we made it out alive and escaped to the car (Poor Mel, as up until this point, it truly did seem like the perfect plan to lead me to my untimely death).

Greetings, from the land of mishapen cats.

Charles City has been, by far, the greatest overnight town we have experianced thus far. Our host family was absolutely phenomenal--we love the Ayers's. We arrived around three in the afternoon, and shortly after moving all of our bags into their gorgeous house, we found ourselves completely captivated and amused by Olivia (and her adorable pedophile stories, Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber quips, and more...), their eleven-year-old. That, and thier whole host of disfigured cats (Kristen when we first arrived: That cat has a thumb!). In actuality, one cat had a sixth finger (if cats have fingers). But enough about their cats...

We went in town that night, intent on bungee jumping (Mel clearly has no idea as to what bungee jumping truly is), but we quickly discovered that this was not to be. (Monika speaking: Jumping on a trampoline while dangling by a harness is NEVER worth twenty dollars). Monika is slightly mistaken--it was five dollars, still far too steep a price. So, we wandered through stores, Monika intent on finding some post cards for her family. (And those will be coming soon, god love the Iowa post system). Interestingly enough, we wandered into a small art store that Olivia had never entered--the Rustic Corner. Monika found her postcards, not all that fascinating, but Olivia and I made the greatest purchase EVER. Buttons--all shapes and sizes. Fifteen dollars and nearly 14 ounces of buttons later, we returned to the Ayers home to construct a multitude of items from our million (or so it seemed) buttons.

DA GROTTO. Father Bernard really liked rocks.

Today Kristen and I rediscovered Catholicism in a big way when we stopped off at the Grotto of the Redemption. As we discovered later on the Grotto’s Wikipedia page, it was hand built by a priest who had a divine revelation after being cured of pneumonia and was instructed to built a giant stone grotto featuring the stations of the cross. It’s hard to describe in words exactly WHAT this West Bend grotto is, but the pictures we took should say it all. Right now we are stationed at another lake town, Clear Lake. Below are also pictures we took while the sun was setting at Storm lake.

Grotto Photos:

Me at my favorite station of the cross: Veronica wipes the face of Jesus.

Kristen admiring one of the rocks. The rocks in the Grotto are valued at over 4 million dollars.

Photos from the lake house at Storm Lake:

The view from the dock at Storm Lake while the sun was setting. Kristen and I sat on the dock and watched as the sun went down.

A second view from the dock at the lake house we stayed at. The couple was very nice, and they we're playing a Rolling Stones concert DVD the entire time on their big screen TV which made me think of home.

Iowa Photo Montage

FINALLY! The long anticipated Iowa photo montage. In low quality because oh my GOD it is nearly impossible to find a compatible file type.

We're cycle-delic.

Algona--I can't even begin to explain the intricacies of this town. First off, it has a theme--"That '70's Town". They even had a contest to see who could make his or her yard the most "'70's themed". Who does that? Apparently these people. (See Monika in our host house.) (Monika: What exactly is a 70s themed yard?) Good question, Monika. And from the looks of the town social calender, Algona is a lot like the fictional Stars Hollow of Gilmore Girls--there are little fairs and festivals all the time. Hell, there's a flag burning ceremony next week. Maybe we should go.

As for RAGBARI, Mel and Fish have been real troopers. They even insist on finding the houses themselves. (This is probably a good thing, as I wouldn't really plan on picking them up.) AND WE ARE GOING TO DAIRY QUEEN!

Sioux City to Storm Lake

We're currently sitting in Storm Lake outside the Wifi tent while we wait for Kristen's mom and Fish to arrive. The family we stayed with last night in Sioux city was very welcoming, and we're hoping to have a positive experience elsewhere. While Kristen went to the RAGBRAI convention, I caught up on some sleep and created a photo montage of the past couple of days (I'll post it later). As part of the RAGBRAI celebrations, we got to go to a Smashmouth concert (they sing the song in the first Shrek movie which is sadly pretty much all they are known for). The opening act was the Sioux City Rockestra -- a rock orchestra that features one of Iowa's TV personalities as it's singer -- which turned out to be better than the actual band. We left shortly after they went off and tried to find our way back to the house from Sioux City (Kristen's cousin Kelsey had driven us there). After we accidently crossed into Nebraska (Kristen: We're going to die.) we managed to find our way home before 11.

Sorry for the Delay

Our blog went on a two-day hiatus after we arrived at the cabin—no wifi. Fortunately, we’re back in business. While we weren’t connected the internet, we spent Thurs. touring the University of Iowa in Iowa City, Iowa. We started the day with a quick breakfast at the world’s largest truck stop, the Iowa 80. Located on interstate 80, the truck stop is 225 acres of restaurants, barbershops, cots, showers, and multiple fast food joints. (Kristen speaking: Think of this as the equivalent of South Dakota’s “Wall Drug” without the miles and miles of advertisement.)

After eating at the Iowa 80 Kitchen, we made our way to Iowa City, a unique metropolis that is part college town and part city. On our college tour we became instant celebrities; we had at least three families ask us about our trip and Pennsylvania (and if we were actually serious about applying to University of Iowa). The school was started in 1847 and the school’s centerpiece is Iowa’s old, gold-domed capitol building. After the tour we took some interesting pictures around the city, and we ended up eating at a quaint restaurant called Z’Mariks, which served only noodle-based foods. Kristen ordered the Mac ‘n Cheese while I got an Udon dish; both were delicious.

We made it to the lake house that evening. We made multiple trips into town to look for Sparky’s (mini-mart) and the still-unfound bait shop. By the end of the two days, we could competently find our way to four places in Lakeview: Sparky’s, the grocery store, the park, and the cabin. In the middle of the night, Kristen and I woke to a horrifying scream. Someone flicked on the lights and instead of our suspected ax-murderer, Kristen’s aunt was recovering from a nightmare. (Kristen speaking: In an emergency, Uncle David and Nathan will not save you.) We spent the rest of the night (from 2 am onward) listening as Kristen’s uncle watched the Dave Letterman show while he tried to fall back asleep. The near sub-zero temperatures created by the air-conditioning didn’t help either. The second day at the lake we went boating for what was almost the entire afternoon. Kristen’s Uncle Frank took the speedboat out so we could tube behind it. After two hours of working up courage while being dragged behind a boat at 20 mph, we went at 30 and managed to stay on the tube. After a day on the lake, we were sun burnt, dehydrated, and exhausted. We didn’t sleep very well the second night, as three of us were crammed onto the same air mattress. (Kristen speaking: Mel should have come back to take us to Carroll, but as per usual, she decided to follow her own agenda.) Despite two fun days on the lake, the sleepless nights made us ready to move on.

On our way to Sioux City (our first stop on the RAGBRAI bike ride) we stopped at Ida Grove – a town that consists of mini castles and a downsized sloop constructed by a man who made it big in the aeronautics field – and ate at the Pizza Hut that rests in the center of a moat (“at least we won’t be attacked while we’re eating”). Finally we are in Sioux City minus the Anita Shreve audio book.

It's Karaoke Night at the Best Western

We're sitting in the Best Western (finally out of the car) in Galesburg, Illinois an hour and a half from the Iowa border thanks to a minor miscalculation around Indianapolis that lost us an hour and a half of time (how ironic). (Kristen speaking: Way to go, Melanie.) When we told a hotel employee where we were from (after giving her Eastern standard time) she asked us what we were doing in Galesburg. (Answer: We're not really sure). We really want Dairy Queen, and technically it's not eleven thanks to the hour we gained so we can still legally drive (plus, I'm sure Illinois driving laws are different from PA). But, we can't take the car. (Kristen speaking: We have reached the Mel-Zone. She's done. Despite explaining that she did not need to accompany us to the Dairy Queen approx. 50 meters away, the idea was too much for her to handle. If you know her, this reaction is not a shock...) So we're stuck listening to drunk mid-westerners singing along to country songs. (except for one good Rolling Stones' song)

Hopefully tomorrow will be less driving when we cross the Mississippi into Iowa for our college visit -- to a college neither of us want to attend. (Kristen speaking: Mel can't help but plug her Alma mater.)

Now, if you'll excuse us. Kristen needs to use the restroom, so we have to go back to our room.

Goodnight!

Stop-Action Movie

Somewhere in neutral territory between the "You are now leaving Indiana" and "Welcome to Illinois" signs, we decided to make a stop-action short movie that I believe illustrates the intricacies of life spent in a car.

Anita Shreve is deadly.

Dying in the car.

9:30 finds us driving through what we’re going to call southern Pennsylvania. (“Where are we?” “What state are we in?”) And currently just found out we’re only at exit 189 looking for exit 75. It’s only been 48 minutes and Kristen is currently blasting Simon and Garfunkel while playing the “guess that song game.” As were heading through the Blue Mountain tunnel Kristen felt the need to mention that Princess Diana died in a tunnel. A quick trivia fact: her driver survived, but bit his tongue off in the accident. We survived though, so hopefully we’ll live to see Iowa, or at least exit 75.

We received our driving route for Ragbrai (the biking program we are going through). Right now we’re headed for Southern Illinois where we are staying the night. Here’s our route for the trip:

We start off in Sioux city the first day and make a stop in Washta before ending up in Storm Lake. The next day we stop in Pocahontas (town, not the Disney character) and end up in Algona. The next day’s lunch break is in a town called Garner and then on to Clear Lake. On the 28^th, we stop in Rockwell and head on to Charles City. Following that we drive to Parkersburg and end up in Waterloo. The second to last day we have lunch in Quasqueton and travel on to Manchester. Our final day we travel to Dubque with a stop in Dyersville. We end our trip with a two day stay in Chicago.

12:00 noon finds us traveling through Ohio near Belmont and Morristown exit 208 precisely. We’ve nearly died multiple times and currently we’re snacking on packaged cheese slices as all of the available rest stops are closed for road construction. After a few rounds of wurrdle and tic tac toe, we made it through about one hour of the 9 hour book tape Kristen’s mom brought along for the car ride. There are a limited number of minutes a person can spend listening to detailed descriptions of tablecloths and Patrick’s Irish-American heritage. And his wearing of long pants as a symbol of respect—only American and German tourists dress like children. Clearly, Kristen’s mom has no taste in books. We’re dying slowly, I think.

Help! I need somebody!

The trip across Iowa has begun! First however we must leave the glorious state of Pennsylvania for 16 straight hours (soon to turn into 18 since we didn't leave early) of driving. The only stops are for gas, pre-packed food, and to occasionally stretch our legs. Currently, Kristen's parents are trying to figure out the bike rack ("There's a difference between nervous and frustrated"). To clarify, we're not actually biking. Kristen and Monika (us) are the drivers...trying to learn chemistry, occasionally biking, and suffering multiple emotional breakdowns. All this while wearing fluffy pink tiara's supplied by Kristen's mother's friend.

We'll tell you how it goes....